The Value of Genuine Love and Support

Since arriving in Uganda I have slowly integrated into my community, not only at site, but also with my host family, Peace Corps Staff and fellow volunteers, and the other teachers. For the last three months I have been trying to figure out what Ugandans really value in their children. In America, this is easy to see; We display school pictures or pictures from vacations on the walls in our houses and offices at work, we hang perfect quizzes and tests on the fridge, we put trophies on the bookshelf, and we talk incessantly about how amazing and talented our children are compares to their peers in class or on the soccer field. We even give them feedback on all that they do to show them how much we care about them and how proud we are, no matter what their latest test score is or how many points they scored in last night's game. In America, we show our endless love and support through hugs, kisses, talking around the dinner table, and even showing interest in other activities. I often wonder if we smother our children in America. Presently, all little league players, soccer players, etc receive trophies at the end of the season so we tell our kids that they are ALL winners no matter what. When they lose, do they lose too much of their self esteem? Some do, I'm sure. We tell our kids they are going to be President one day or be the next Einstein. For some kids, this is true, but certainly not all of them. I'm all for supporting each and every child, but sometimes it gets to be too much. There's got to be some balance and honesty thrown into the mix. Regardless, my stay in Uganda hasn't shown me that parents or even the communities truly value and hold pride for their children at all.

In my Homestay house there were only pictures of my host mother all over the walls. At my school, there are no displays of student work anywhere. Instead, they are told they are not "smart"--in Uganda this usually means well dressed, but can sometimes refer to intelligence-- if their school uniform is not perfectly clean or their hair is not completely shaved. Instead of a teacher calling a name of pupil for help, they simply yell "YOU!", clap a few times, and demand the pupil to fetch whatever it is they desire. Sometimes this even includes making the pupil leave school to go get fruit or a chapati in the town. Worst of all, there are parents who, instead of buying enough food to feed their children during the week, save their money to go to the clubs over the weekends. So I wonder, what gives? A prime example from this week goes as follows:

In my quest to create a successful and fun D.E.A.R. Day (Drop Everything and Read) at my school, I have given a complete rundown in a staff meeting about what it may look like. I have motivated my fellow teachers to create activities with each of their classes, which has been exciting because they have actually all been on board with putting a lot of work into their ideas and the ideas of their pupils (hallelujah!). Some classes are presenting stories written by pupils, some are doing plays from local stories they've read, and my own P4 colleagues have come up with the idea to do a "beauty contest" in which all of the contestants must read well and answer a few questions. I was thrilled to hear my counterpart tell me of the class plans for DEAR Day, I had visions of a panel of pupils to judge and ask their own questions, the contestants would answer and the talent portion would allow for reading, singing, or even rapping. However, my heart sank when I watched a run through of the skit this week.  They take the word "beauty" very seriously here in Uganda (at least at my school) and so the teachers only chose the "most pretty girls" in class. This was only the beginning. Next, the teachers chose the pupils to be the judges and instructed them to ask the question "Why are you here today?" If the contestants did not answer exactly, "My name is ______. I am here today to participate in the beauty contest", then they were 1) laughed at, 2) told to sit down, and 3) given a score of zero. Not one of the contestants had a chance to memorize the prompt, so all received scores of zero and laughed at as they took their seats. My frustration during this practice was building by the second. I had to excuse myself. In retrospect, maybe I should have added my input right away; told them that each contestant can have a correct answer even if it's not the exact one provided by the teacher. That, as a P4 group, we need to stick together and support one another.

I have since made my thoughts known and shown a lesson that proved it really possible to give positive feedback, control a class of 60+ pupils, and still keep the respect of my kids. After my lesson there was a time for the teachers who came to observe (all but two showed up! another score) to ask me questions or state what they had observed during my lesson. I was ecstatic when a few commented on how I never "turned color" when pupils weren't participated or gave a wrong answer, and I didn't put down those same wrong answers. They also noticed the amount of wait time I gave after asking questions...none of which were yes or no questions, but instead WHY questions. And one more, they noticed that I kept the pupils engaged for an entire hour without making them write down a single note (their minds were blown). While I'm happy for their positive feedback, I had to wonder if I was trying to encourage too much change. I talked of why I did these things in the way I did, including acknowledging all answers, right or wrong. I talked about encouraging students to think outside the box when answering questions and working TOGETHER with pupils, not just throwing out demands or insults because it will only make pupils cower and hesitate to raise their hand to answer their questions in the future.

But, am I disturbing their way of life and teaching? In a way I am, but the Peace Corps goals have us exchange and promote a better understanding of Americans on Host Country Nationals (HCNs), and to help promote a better understanding of the host country on the part of Americans. In my heart I know I am doing what's best for these kids. They need an adult on their side to advocate for their needs, not only in school, but at home as well. They are why I am here, and they are the reason I don't feel completely useless at the end of some days here. We have a long road ahead of us to create a positive school environment for these kids, but I'm determined and happy that most of the teachers at my school are wanting to make this big change too. Here's to creating new beginnings and making the changes to empower the children at St. Gregory Primary School, and throughout Uganda as well. It's their time.

Homestay Living

Glow stick party on my last night!

This short and sweet post about homestay is long overdue considering I’ve already sworn in as an official PCV and I’ve been at site for almost a month already. I’ve wanted to talk about my experiences with my Homestay family. Heading from FSV to the language training satellite in Mityana (a trip that should have only taken about four hours…this time it took seven). It was my first time taking public transit completely on my own. I spent the entire ride clutching my two bags, one of which was slashed. Thankfully nothing was missing. I listened to the locals casually talking throughout the ride, occasionally hearing the word Muzungu* thrown in the mix, knowing they were talking about me somehow. I found myself thinking that I couldn’t wait to begin learning the language so I could figure out some of what was being said. Mostly it isn’t being said in a hostile way, they are truly just curious about our culture, much like we are curious about theirs.

Finally I arrived in Mityana, but unfortunately the taxi driver and everyone in the taxi had no clue where my destination was, so they dropped me on the side of the road and I began to walk. I was already an hour late, stressed, dripping in sweat, and carrying two heavy bags, one of which was ripped in half. After about forty five minutes and multiple stops to ask for directions, I made it to the school. Luckily I was the fourth of ten that would be meeting there for language training. I waited for my host family to arrive to pick me up and head home. My host mother and I signed our agreement “contract” and went on our way after tea and simosas. Their home would be considered lower middle class in Uganda. They had a gate, a guard dog named Scott who was very mean, and electricity. They gave me my own room complete with a bathing area attached to my room. My host mom runs her own duka selling clothing and soft drinks. Her husband works as a mechanic in Kampala and was only around once or twice a week, leaving her to care for four biological children plus a nephew. My youngest host sibling is four years old, Carven, then theirs Duncan who is six, Mark who is 10, Leticia who is 13 and Saldi who is also 13. All of them, including my host mother, were very quiet. I guess this was a good match for me because I am also fairly quiet, but it lead me to occasional thoughts that they did not like me or I was burdening them in some way by adding too much work. They are used to eating dinner at ten oclock at night, and they were feeding me (or trying to) by 7:30; most nights I ate around 8:30 or 9:00. I was fed enough food for an entire Army most nights. This lasted until the last week of my stay when they finally understood that Americans don’t eat as much as they do. Most nights I didn’t mind because my host mom was a GREAT cook. Needless to say, she made me pack on a few pounds.

My favorite moments of homestay came towards the end. My host brothers always asked to watch movies on my computer, but one night Leticia asked if I could teach her how to type. I was so excited I couldn’t even hold back jumping for joy. She typed with one finger, but managed to write a story in a couple of hours about a boy named Joseph who was having a bad day. I then taught her how to attach pictures and save it to the computer. Can’t wait to go back and visit to have her finish her story! Along with Leticia dying to learn about how we do things at home, my other favorite moment came when my host mother surprised me by giving my my tribe name. She had me invite our whole language group over with our trainers, she cooked too much food as usual, had a professional photographer come over, and at the end of dinner stood up to give a speech. She began by telling everyone that it’s tradition in the Buganda kingdom to have the whole family over when first giving a child their name. She presented me as Namuli, which is from the monkey clan and means flower, or “a very good thing”. From then on she has called me her sister and I knew then how much I meant to them and vice versa. We had many discussions about differences and similarities between Uganda and America, lots about cooking, and even more about what they'd like to see happen in their government concerning corruption. My stay with the Sebwatto family was more than I could have asked for and I look forward to visiting them again in the new future. Leaving them was sad, but I was ready to move forward in this crazy journey of mine. I'm so thankful for how much I learned from this beautiful family about Uganda and their cultures that make them so unique. 

I am now moved into my site and slowly getting stuff to make it feel more like a home! School has been in session for almost three weeks and I am slowly building rapport with the other teachers and pupils. I look forward to what the next two years have in store for me. Though I know their will be highs and lows, the amount I learn about myself and this whole other world will be more than worth it. With the endless love and support from my family and friends back home, I can do anything.

*Muzungu is what all Ugandans, including babies that are just barely talking, call white people. Some people on PC staff have told me it translates as “aimless wanderer”, but the Ugandans I talk to about it say it simply means “white”. I hear this name called out to me at least five times a day, whether I am in town or at my site. Some people may think it’s not a big deal, but when you hear it over and over again, it can become exhausting. Small children will yell it over and over again as you walk by until they can no longer see you (even if you’ve already greeted them). Needless to say, it makes you feel like even more of an outsider and someone who isn’t respected for what you’ve accomplished thus far in life and what you hope to do in their country. As if the constant starring wasn’t bad enough, you also get a label as soon as you arrive in country. If you couldn’t tell, I strongly dislike being called this, and correct people multiple times a day by introducing myself and what I’m about. After this they seem to understand, and those who I see often use my real name. All of the pupils at my school know to call me Teacher Olivia, they’ve heard what I do in the states, what I studied, and what I am doing at their school. Now, if they have friends from other villages visiting who call “Muzungu! Muzungu!” out to me, the friends are smacked and told to call me by my real name. It’s nice to see that beginning to happen as the pupils get used to having me at their school every day.

Swearing In & The Transition Back to Site

Hard to believe that just over two months ago myself and 37 seven other amazing members of my cohort were just arriving in this beautiful country. Over the last ten weeks we have gone trough a series of cross cultural training, teacher bootcamp, and language training. We've spend four weeks living with host families to help us learn the language and integrate into our communities, and finally we've sworn in as official Peace Corps Volunteers. Over the last few weeks, our trainers have been telling us what a special group we are. They have commented on the amount of support we give to one another and how uniquely close we have all become compared to the cohorts before us. These ideas and feelings were also apparent in almost every one of the speeches given in our swearing in ceremony last Thursday evening and the love felt around the room was undeniable.

In the beginning, we got dubbed the "clingy" group, but I prefer: incredible, beautiful, intelligent, and thoughtful group. I can't even begin to describe the love I feel from every single one of my peers. I couldn't have asked for a better group of individuals to make it through this journey with. They are each some of the most inspiring people I have ever met and cannot wait to continue on through service to see how much we all accomplish for our schools and communities in country.

But I'm getting ahead of myself! We still have 24 months left in service, and right now we are all settling into our various sites around the country. First term of the school year begins in a week and we have the next three months until our next training to complete assessments with our pupils and students. I mentioned before having a rough FSV (future site visit) and that was very much true. I spent many a nights following those three days stressing out about having to go back. Thanks to the PC staff, especially my Champion, I think we have finally come to an agreement with the teachers and my supervisor that I will NOT be the head P4 teacher and will not spend 12 hours a day at school like they told me I would during FSV. Finally they are beginning to understand my role as given to me by PC to be a literacy specialist for P4 pupils. I will pull small groups of pupils out of class each three or four times a week (much like you would for RTI in the states) and work on building skills such as alphabetic principle, phonemic awareness, fluency, comprehension, etc. In this country literacy is a struggle at all age levels, so while my job is to work with P4, I will also get the chance to help run workshops for my colleagues and hopefully even be able to reach out to families and the community to get them on board with their children's educations as well. I had the opportunity today to talk with one of my fellow teachers. He was telling be how very happy he is that I am here because he wishes to learn how I teach my kids and what he can do to help his. He informed me that some of his P7 pupils still have trouble reading and wants to be able to help him on his own (yay!). While I can't say for sure, I lend much of this student struggle with literacy to the way schools and classes are taught here. You can observe a full school day and see only rote memorization, repetition of definitions or thoughts, yes or no questions, and writing notes. Not once have I seen a teacher ask an open ended question with any type of a response. This is where I hope to focus much of my time. Creativity and exploring ideas is not much of a thing in Ugandan schools. I can't wait to get started! I will post pictures of my school and it's classrooms/grounds once the kids come next week!

On another note, I've been so thankful to have had the ability along the way to stay connected with family and friends. I am SO thrilled for Brian to arrive here for a week in May! Three months to go! Emotionally I am doing well, with some minor ups and downs each week as I go through the roller coaster of thoughts and emotions such as: "can I really do this for the next to years?!"... "am I really going to make much of an impact on my school and the community?"..."am I really okay with having huge cockroaches, frogs, spiders, and lizards for roommates for the duration of my stay?!?!!!". As of right now, all of the answers are "yes". I know I will gain a wealth of knowledge about the world and myself over the next handful of months and I know that it will change me in some ways. Hopefully all of which I can be proud of.

More blog posts soon! (I still need to tell you all about homestay and language training!)  ;) Stay tuned.

Missing you all back home. Sending warm hugs from UG!

Nyiga Okwogera Luganda (I am learning to speak Luganda)

Here’s a little about my family and I written in Luganda. Enjoy and try to appreciate what I’ve learned in about two weeks time. Hope everyone had a great holiday! Happy New Year.

Ammanya gange nze Olivia Smith. Nava New Boston, NH mu America. Kumpine ME, MA, ne VT. Naye kati mbeera Mityana mu Uganda ne mu amakaga Sebwatto. Nkolanga munakyewa mu Peace Corps nga musomesa ne nsomesa abaana okusoma.

My names are Olivia Smith. I have come from New Boston, NH in America near Maine, Massachusetts, and Vermont. But now I am staying in Mityana, Uganda with the Sebwatto family. I work as a volunteer in the Peace Corps as a teacher and I teach children to read.

Mu America Nnina taata ne maama. Maama wange errinya lye ye Joanne. Ava NH. Maama wange muwanika. Taata wange errinya lye ye Jeff. Ava ME, naye kati abeera NH. Akola nga yinginya. Nnina omulala baganda bange babirri ne mwanyinaze omu. Nze Nakato. Muganda wange babirye errinya lye ye Michelle. Michelle musawo. Muganda wange omulala errinya lye ye Alex. Asoma mu New England University mu ME. Ayagala okuba musawo. Mwanyinaze errinya lye ye Zack. Asoma ssomero lya Hooksett Memorial mu sinyia ya mukaaga.

In America I have a father and a mother. My mother’s name is Joanne. She comes from New Hampshire. My mom works as an accountant. My father’s name is Jeff. He comes from Maine, but now he lives in NH. He works as an engineer. I also have two sisters and one brother. I am the second born twin. My twin sister’s name is Michelle. She works as a nurse. My other sister’s name is Alex. She studies at NEU in Maine. She wishes to be a Physician’s Assistant. My brother’s name is Zack. He studies at Hookseet Memorial school in sixth grade.

Nnina mukwano gwange ye Brian. Ava Stonington, CT, kumpine RI mu America. Naye kati abeera Milford mu NH. Akolanga omuwanika wa Fidelity Investments mu Merrimack, NH. Nmwagala nyo.

I have a friend, his name is Brian. He comes from Stonington, CT near Rhode Island in America. But now he lives in Milford, NH. He works with money at Fidelity in Merrimack, NH. I love him very much.

Nsoma Luganda. Weebale ku osoma kyange blog! Sula bulungi

I am studying Luganda. Thank you for reading my blog! Spend the night well.

Sidenote: letters are always welcome. If you send one, be sure to write your most creative religious sayings and quotes on the envelope to ensure no one looks through it/decorates the post office wall with your beautiful letters and pictures! ;)

Future Site Visit: The positives and negatives of being a PCV at a site that is new to PC

            I'm going to be incredibly honest in this blog post. I had my first real low since being in country during this time and I feel it's important to share. Last week, our entire cohort was divided into our different regions (Central-my region, Southwest, East, North, West, and West Nile). From this morning on, we would all be separated until the swearing in ceremony coming up on January 22! It was tough for all of us. Goodbyes are never easy; especially when they’re coming from friends we’ve all made over the last five weeks we’ve been in country training together. Reality definitely set in for me when I said my goodbyes and loaded into the SUV. The thought that I wouldn’t see anyone in the group for more than a few days at a time from now on was to foreign to me. We created comfort zones and support networks with each other. For this reason and many others, my Future Site visit (FSV) was quite an emotional roller coaster. It started on an uphill climb when our cars traveling to the southwest region got to stop at the equator. Naturally we took lots of photos and stood in two places at once…I mean how cool is that, not many people get to say they've lived in both hemispheres.

            I arrived at my site shortly after the stop at the equator. It was both incredibly scary and exciting at the same time. I was greeted at my school’s gate by about 20 students and four of the teachers I’ll be working with over the next two years. They were playing the drums, singing, and smiling from ear to ear. In that moment I felt so incredibly lucky. I knew some people would show up at their sites with no one there to greet them.  The teachers and students took my bags from me-- I learned this is because it’s incredibly impolite to be seen with a guest who is holding their own bags (and also because they think white people are weaker than them)—I was ushered into the office and given break tea which consisted of Tea masala and two pieces of white bread. Shortly after I was given my food, I learned that my supervisor had no idea what Peace Corps was, let alone that I was a Peace Corps Volunteer coming to stay with them for two years. This was the first red flag. In my head I was thinking, “How did you sign up to take on a volunteer without knowing what the organization does?!” but out loud I tried to briefly explain all of the amazing things PC does in countries all over the world.  Following this conversation, I was given a tour of the school and finally shown my home. I live on campus with the rest of the teachers. I’m lucky to have a real toilet, not a pit latrine, INSIDE my home and not far away from the house. I have two pretty big rooms, one with my bed and desk, and the other with my water tank and living area (hopefully some furniture to come!)

 After the tour of the school I was off to meet about 20 people in the town who consisted of the Chief of Police, the LC1 (Local Consulate—this man has a guy talk for him, and not because he can’t speak English, just because he can), a priest who studied in Scranton, PA for two years that has great English, five former and current teachers, and many others whom I don’t quite remember at this point. Needless to say I was exhausted, but the day wasn’t over yet. My counterpart and I paused for lunch around two. Let me tell you something about African meals… they are HUGE. People think Americans have huge portion sizes, but they’ve got nothing on Africa. I must take a picture sometime. On my plate was three small fried irish potatoes, a cup and a half of white rice, a cup and a half of matooke, a chicken leg, and what Africans call “salad”, which is about a half a cup of thinly sliced cabbage and two slices of plum tomatoes. Africans are obsessed with carbs and they eat, on average, three meals plus two break teas a day. Following lunch I walked the town even more to meet some other locals, bathed and watched the news with the teachers at my school then had dinner around eight. Finally got into my bed at 10:30 and woke up to do the same thing for the next two and a half days.

   I struggled a bit during FSV because I had no downtime aside from when I was sleeping, and even that was interrupted by the constant ring of my neighbors cell phone and her radio on full volume, not to mention the rooster crowing beginning around 4am. On top of this, I kept hearing “We’re so happy to have an American at our school” as opposed to “We’re so happy to have YOU at our school”. All three days I heard their interesting views of America and was asked about whether or not another American volunteer would replace me when I leave in two years (sheesh can you let me stay for a while before you already start thinking about another person?) While my future coworkers, supervisor, and counterpart were so excited to have me there, I began wondering if they were only really excited to say they know an American, and that they’re going to get to keep her for two years. This is when my downward spiral began. I didn’t truly feel appreciated, I just felt like a product they were testing out. I wasn’t Olivia, the teacher who works hard to help her kids and others, I was just “the American”; the American who they’ve put on their timetable as the P4 teacher for the entire year even though Peace Corps doesn’t allow that. No matter how much I tried to explain this, they didn’t get it. The only thing helping me not acknowledge my thoughts of quitting and returning home was the fact that I would be back with some of my cohort members for four weeks of language training and homestay at the end of FSV. In my heart I knew I couldn’t give up. I had to persevere and work through language training so that maybe my coworkers would respect me on another level if I could speak with them in their local language. The weight was lifted off my shoulders after I debriefed with friends and language trainers and settled into my first night with my homestay family (more on them in a future blog post!). I’m feeling MUCH better this week and am so excited to share what I’ve been learning in class!

Here’s to a great holiday vacation (our first actual break since arriving in country), incredible next four weeks until swearing in, and a positive return to my Site. Missing you all at home. Happy Holidays!

'Tis the Season

           The idea of a Ugandan Christmas is something I’ve been trying to get used to since I knew my cohort was leaving in November. It's my first Christmas away from home and all of my loved ones. I have been putting this idea off in my mind because for a while it’s been a sad thought. Over the last month since I’ve been in Uganda, I’ve made some truly incredible friends. From the very beginning our trainers have been calling us a family. At first, this was just a nice idea and thing for them to say to us. A sentiment meant to make us feel whole together. However, in my mind, family is a bond that grows over time. It doesn’t just form instantly upon arriving at a hotel to begin the next chapter of our lives. Family is a home for your heart. Family is irreplaceable and completely unique. Yes, family can be broken, but it can also be put back together again.

           The latter is something I feel all 37 of the trainees and I (maybe just me—don’t want to generalize too much) have felt since arriving in Philadelphia for staging back in November. In small ways we have broken our families up as we committed to 27 months of service with the Peace Corps. As long as we are gone, our families are not whole. I have struggled with this since arriving in country. But, as the last month passed, our trainers’ notion that we are a family has become truer as each day passes. We’ve been labeled the “clingy” group (as every cohort has a label apparently). At first I hated that word, clingy. To me clingy is a bad thing, but in our cohort it really means supportive. Being shoved in close quarters with 37 strangers with some of the same end goals in mind, it’s hard not to be supportive. Though we are slowly realizing that our group as a whole is unique in this way (We are one of the first cohorts in a long time that, by this point in training, hasn’t lost someone who has chosen to go home for one reason or another). I feel blessed to be going through this experience with these talented and passionate people who I know will back me up every step of the way. I know it is not by accident that we were put here together, which is why, slowly but surely, our family has been forming.

           Our Peace Corps family, like our family at home, is *irreplaceable and completely unique, it is a bond that will continue to grow, not only over the next 26 months we have left in this beautiful country, but long after we’ve come back home as well. Our family that we are creating here together is becoming a home for our Peace Corps hearts. I hate to already be thinking about when this family will be broken apart. Yet it’s comforting to know that no matter how far apart I am from my family at home or my Peace Corps family, it is bonded again by the love and support that is shared by every individual involved.

          An example of this family bond was experienced by some of us last night. We have been staying at a Primary Teacher’s College in Kira (pronounced Cheera). The students here are tired and at the very end of their school year, but they still have a zest for learning and life that is unmatched by any students I know. After a long year, they still took the time to sing Christmas carols with a small group of us last night. I’d been sick all week long with some food borne illness, yet I felt so uplifted by this experience with the students. The holidays are a time for families to come together. This year, I have the opportunity to become closer to my Peace Corps family, while also sharing this connectedness and uniqueness with my family at home. 

I love you all, Happy Holidays :) Pictures and some videos to come!